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  “You mean to tell me that one shiesty female turned you cold for life?”

  Damien stood up and shrugged his shoulders. “It only takes one.” Before walking back to his desk, he said, “I mean it is what it is, though. All I know, I ain’t the nigga ’bout to change the locks on a bitch.”

  Any other day, I would’ve felt disrespected. You talk about my woman, and it was time to get down. Today, the first time in ever, I was indifferent. I pursed my lips at his comment as if his blatant disrespect for the deficiency in my relationship was called for. However, as I replayed the recent events in my head, I realized that it really was. It was completely called for to disregard a relationship I spent four years creating, ’cause there was nothing left of it to defend.

  My mama raised me to be a good man to women, treat them right, and not hurt their feelings. But where were all their mothers? Where were the mothers that were supposed to encourage their daughters to be good to their men, treat them right, and not sleep around? I had to come to grips with the reality that my mama must’ve lived in a world where that advice rang truer. Nowadays, bitches ain’t shit.

  CHAPTER 3:

  Erin

  Present day…

  Damn. I was standing in this storm, strolling down the dark streets of Lake Underhill in wet socks holding on to a pair of five-inch boots, one with a broken heel, the other one scuffed up beyond recognition. My cell phone battery was dead. I couldn’t call my girl Loraine, and I stupidly left my wallet in Tariq’s front seat. I couldn’t even use a payphone to call a cab. My freshly relaxed hair was ruined, my makeup was running, and I’d be sniffling come morning. “I hate men,” I whispered to myself. All I wanted to do was get home, pop open a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label, and throw back a good, hard drink. Usually after a first date, I’d go home and sip on a tall glass of Riesling while Sade played in the background. Tonight was different; tonight, I needed to yank Tariq’s picture from the top drawer of my nightstand, stick it in a trashcan, and set it on fire—not before I gave Loraine a good tongue-lashing for thinking that Tariq and I would actually be a good match. I wiped the snot that slowly dripped from my nose. Throwing my hands in the air, I kicked the big puddle of water in front of my feet. Tonight was the last damn straw. I freaking hated men.

  When I got home, I had to ignore the awkward glances I got from my neighbors who couldn’t understand why a pretty girl like me would actually be walking home in the rain. When they tried not to stare at me, I wanted to say, “What the hell’s your problem? You never saw a black girl come out the damn rain before? Mind your damn business!” Instead, I ended up faking a smile while I kept my head down and searched for my keys.

  Before I could unlock my door, Alonzo, the wiry banker from down the hall, shot me a smirk and waved. I tried to ignore him, but my wet hands couldn’t find my keys quick enough.

  He yelled out, “You all right?”

  I utilized the overly expensive therapy technique I had learned in my sessions and breathed deeply. “I’m good. Trying to get to bed.”

  “Did you need any help with anything? You look like hell.”

  I couldn’t take it after that. I shot him an evil glance and flared my nostrils. Realizing that he’d crossed the line, he stopped walking closer to me and dropped his goofy smile. But before I gave him the chance to tuck tail and run, my neck started rolling, my finger went to wagging, and my lips started snarling. “I said I was all right, damn. Can’t a girl walk into her damn home without everybody in this got-damn apartment building trying to figure out what’s wrong? I had a bad night. It’s not like I came here with a wounded Siberian tiger under my skirt, rocking a shaved head and bright-orange nail polish. Can I walk into my apartment, Alonzo? Can you give me that courtesy, please? Shoot!”

  Alonzo opened his mouth to speak, then snapped it shut quickly. Without another word, he nodded and turned on his heel. Walking back into his apartment, he yelled back, “Have a good night.” He then slammed the door shut behind him.

  Confident in my victory of finally getting to tell some man off, I found the key to my apartment and walked inside. Dropping my keys, purse, and shoes to the floor, I grabbed my Johnny Walker bottle and headed for my bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I tried to wipe what was left of my running eyeliner. I looked like Tariq had given me two black eyes instead of kicking me out of a moving vehicle. I brushed the few strands of hair stuck to my face behind my ear and wiped the smeared foundation from my dimpled cheeks. I took a deep breath and tried not to remind myself of the hundred and fifty hard-earned dollars I had spent on my not-so-fresh relaxer two days prior to my date. My wet hair sat on top of my head, limp and dead, like the rain had a vendetta against me. I couldn’t understand how an almond-eyed, full-lipped, earth-yellow complexioned bombshell like myself would find herself walking home in pouring rain as my overly expensive MAC makeup melted off my face.

  I stripped naked and examined how my round breasts, slim, waist and wide hips would scare a man off. Halle Berry ain’t have nothing on me, but I was being treated like Ron Berry. Dang, I hated men. After stripping naked and dunking myself into a warm bubble bath, my fingers got to dialing. When Loraine’s groggy voice scratched through my phone’s receiver, she got the tongue-lashing that had been waiting on her.

  “Girl, I am so damn mad at you.”

  “What happened?”

  “What happened? That fool put me out his car.”

  Loraine’s pause only revealed how she was trying to contain her laughter. “No, he didn’t.”

  “Girl, I am not playing. While we are actually driving down the 408, we get into a fight over his presets. Girl, he got mad at me for changing the dang station, and then he puts me out the car…in the rain.”

  “I can’t believe he’d actually do that. You must’ve done something else to set him off.”

  I stared at the phone for a minute. “Do you hear yourself? He put me out of his car in the middle of the night, no phone, no money, no nothing. I don’t care if I cursed his mama out; it doesn’t give him the right to put me out his car in the rain.”

  “Tariq’s not a bad person, Erin. This sounds so unlike him.”

  “Well, it was him. Tariq Johnson, right? The mixed claims adjuster with Chico DeBarge hair, rich brown eyes, and drives a black Lincoln? That Tariq, right?”

  “Yea, girl, that’s him.”

  “I thought so.” I swallowed the rest of my half-empty bottle, tilted my head back, and rested on my plush bath pillow. I whispered, “I’m so tired of dealing with this nonsense.”

  “It was one bad date, Erin…”

  “One among hundreds, Loraine.”

  “I really think you got a bad dose of Tariq. He’s a great guy at work. Everybody at the office loves him.”

  “You sound like the dozens of women who still stand behind an abusive man claiming it’s the woman’s fault. Provoked or not, no man has the right to attack another woman for the hell of it, like it didn’t give Tariq the right to throw me out of his car in the middle of a thunderstorm.” I tried to take a deep breath, but breathing wasn’t calming me down. “And besides, if he’s so great, why has he been single all this time?”

  Loraine finally shut up at the fact that she couldn’t locate an answer to my brilliantly asked question. She sighed and paused. I tapped on my empty scotch bottle, awaiting her response. Finally, she responded, “Maybe he’s been waiting on the right girl.”

  “Or maybe he’s too busy throwing the right ones out of moving vehicles.”

  “Okay, fine. I was merely trying to help. You asked me if I knew anyone; my boss is single and cute. He seemed nice enough to me.”

  “Girl, Tariq is many things; nice is not one of them.” After getting out the last of my frustrations, I rubbed the skin between my eyes and licked my lips. I shouldn’t be blaming my friend for a service she didn’t have to provide me. I couldn’t deny that I had gotten on my knees and prayed that the brown-eyed cutie wasn’t taken. I tithed
extra on Sunday when I prayed that he’d be willing to take me out on a date, too. Now when I attended church, I’d be praying to God that Tariq lost my number. The only problem with that theory was that I still needed to see him one last time to get my wallet back, assuming he didn’t steal from me, too. Then, I got an idea. “I know how you can make it up to me.”

  “How’s that?”

  “I left my wallet in his car. You think you could get it from him when you get to work in the morning?”

  “I guess.” Loraine’s hesitation bothered me. Two seconds ago, she was singing this man’s praises, and now she was too apprehensive to pick up my dang wallet. “Hopefully he doesn’t try to dodge me in the parking lot when I see him.”

  “He better hope I don’t see him walking down the street when I’m driving. I’ll probably run him over.”

  Loraine laughed. “Girl, you are a trip.”

  “Whatever, girl. Do me the favor of getting my wallet so I don’t ever have to see his stupid face and be charged with vehicular manslaughter, or better yet, homicide.”

  “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

  CHAPTER 4

  Erin

  When I got to work, I was counting down the hours until lunch. As soon as the clock hit twelve, I made sure Loraine remembered my wallet. Part of me felt comfortable with the lie that all I cared about was my wallet while a bigger part of me knew that I was anxious to hear how things went with Tariq. Would he apologize for being a jerk and ask to literally kiss the ground I walked on to get back in my good graces? Or would he tell her that he threw my wallet out in the rain, too—three miles after he kicked me out? My good sense was leaning more toward the latter, but a small part of me was itching to be hopeful.

  When I finally got Loraine on the phone, I contained my composure. “Did you get my wallet?” My tone was relaxed while I nibbled on my fingernails.

  She paused for a second as if she had no clue what I was talking about. Before I got to cursing her out, she said, “Oh, yeah. I spoke to him today, and he was surprisingly nonchalant.”

  Was he nonchalant about throwing my belongings out the window or indifferent about the girl he kicked out of his car? Or did he keep my wallet in his front seat because he didn’t even remember my name two seconds after he drove away? “What does that mean? What did he say?”

  “I thought he was going to bite my head off when I saw him, but he was still the same nice, sweet Tariq from the office. He even bought me, and the rest of the office, coffee and donuts.” I could hear her smiling through the receiver. I pressed my ear to the phone as I patiently waited for the point in the conversation where she talked about me. “But anyway, he told me he left your wallet at his place and would bring it to you tonight after he gets off work.”

  My mouth dropped. My wonderfully executed plan to avoid Lucifer’s spawn had backfired. Aside from the fact that he showed no emotion to kicking a beautiful woman like myself out of his car in a storm, he invited himself back to my home without my consent. “Why didn’t he leave my wallet in his car? Did he go through it or something?”

  “I don’t think he did anything like that. Maybe he saw it in his car and brought it inside his place.”

  “I guess that makes sense. Did he say anything else?”

  “Nope, that was it.”

  I went to breathing deeply again while I squeezed my fingers around my cell phone. I should have been upset that I wasted most of my lunch hour talking about how little Tariq talked about me. I knew more about the damn donuts than I did about his sentiments toward me. And now, I was unwillingly prepping myself for an impromptu date with a man I hoped I would never see again. Of course, it wasn’t a real date, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t planning to fix my hair, throw on some rouge, and order some takeout to make the house smell like I knew how to cook. I hated feeling pissed and nervous at the same time. Rarely did I ever know which emotion to go from. I sighed as I glanced at my watch. “Okay, Loraine. I’ll get to my lunch and talk to you later. Thanks for asking.”

  “No problem. Tell me how it goes with Tariq tonight.”

  Tariq didn’t show that night, but he did have the audacity to show two nights later. No call, no warning. He popped up at my doorstep with my wallet in tote and an obnoxious smile plastered across his face. If he weren’t such an asshole, I would’ve stood there and stared at his hard jawline, straight teeth, and chiseled cheekbones all night. I pictured myself resting on his sculpted chest while he wrapped his toned arms around my waist. In my fantasy, I crept my hand to the top of his head and ran my fingertips along his tidal waves. He stood there looking good enough to make me wanna get over whatever it was I was angry about. My hair was barely combed. I definitely didn’t have on any makeup, and the house smelled more like leftover frozen pizza as opposed to “home-cooked” Italian food. By that point, I was more interested in getting my wallet than being nervous about a fake date.

  “Weren’t you supposed to drop this off like three days ago?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I forgot.”

  I put out my hand. Days of worrying about my credit cards being stolen and having to carpool because I had no license, and all this fool had to say for himself was, “I forgot.”

  “Gimme my wallet, please.”

  “You’re not gonna let me in?” Although he asked a question, it sounded more like an accusation. Either that or he was implicitly demanding an invitation into my apartment.

  I folded my arms over my chest, shook my head, and rolled my neck. “You have some nerve. You’re lucky I didn’t call the police and claim that you stole my belongings. I had to call and cancel my credit cards so I wouldn’t have to worry about you racking up a fortune at my expense.”

  His smiled dropped and his easygoing demeanor changed to that of annoyance. Like that, the Tariq from our date showed up. “You think I’m a thief? Girl, you are crazy. I wasn’t planning to steal yo’ raggedy credit cards.”

  “You’ve had my wallet for almost a week and made no attempts to give it back. I don’t know you. I called you. You never called back. Next thing I know, you’re here. You ain’t have to come see me. You could’ve given my wallet to Loraine.”

  Tariq dropped his shoulders and flashed his Colgate smile. “Well, maybe I wanted to see yo’ pretty face again. You ever thought about that?”

  “I ain’t know what to think wit’ you. I ain’t think I’d be walking home in the middle of a thunderstorm on our first date. For alI I know, you could be goin’ ’round stealin’ people’s wallets.”

  “That’s my fault—”

  “Dang right, it’s yo’ fault! Why the hell should I let you in after the mess you put me through? I ain’t deserve that, Tariq.”

  He hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath. “You’re right. No woman deserves that. I can respect that. A woman who looks out for herself, you gotta respect that. And despite what my actions may have shown, I respect you, Erin.”

  I dropped my arms. I didn’t want to admit that I was flattered by the compliment, but when a man as fine as Tariq flashed his million-dollar Colgates and the moonlight reflected off his brown eyes, I couldn’t help but get flushed. “Are you going to hand me my wallet or not?”

  “I was still hoping you’d let me in.”

  “That’s not gonna happen, Tariq.”

  He looked me up and down. I watched him lick his lips as a lion did before attacking his prey. Even though sexy didn’t ooze from me in my gravy-stained gray sweats and ripped tank top, his glare made me feel as if I was being hunted.

  He whispered, “You look good, even in your house clothes. You ain’t need to impress me with caked-on makeup, tight dresses, and…” He stopped and glanced at my hair that was tied up in a loose ponytail. “I thought you had on a weave, but I guess that’s all you.”

  Sliding my hand down the end of my ponytail, I asked, “And even if it was a weave?”

  “You still look good, Erin.” The way he said my name. Each sy
llable dripped off his tongue like melting ice cream. We stared at each other and let the awkward pause dance a jig between us. I didn’t want to give in, but when he licked his lips again, I imagined him licking mine. “I ain’t tryna start any trouble. I know you’re not tryna see me, especially after how I treated you. I was going through a lot at work. I got people quitting and calling off work all at the same time. I was stressed, and my car was acting up earlier. I flipped. You’re right. A woman as beautiful as you didn’t deserve that. I’m here, with your wallet, hopin’ you’ll accept my apology and let a brotha inside.”

  Even though there technically was no apology, I was partly comforted by the halfway attempt at pacifying my emotions. The other part of me was disgusted by how quickly I wanted to forgive him, but there wasn’t much I could do. He hovered over me and stared into my eyes. I was putty in his hands and couldn’t do much to stop it. I whispered, “Fine, but only for a minute.”

  “Of course.”

  CHAPTER 5

  Erin

  “He finally dropped off my wallet last night.”

  “Finally. I was beginning to get a little worried.”

  “So was I.”

  “So, how’d it go?”

  “Good, I guess.” I ran my fingers through my mid-length tresses. “He dropped it off. I took it. That’s it.”

  “That’s it, huh?”

  “That’s what I said.” I hated lying to Loraine; I always felt worse when she caught me in my web of lies with nothing to say for myself. “What else did you think would happen?”